A practical emotional intelligence test

Please also see: What is emotional intelligence?

The idea that you can take an emotional intelligence test by filling in a questionnaire about yourself and compare your emotional intelligence with other people’s has been around for a number of years.  Our approach to emotional intelligence testing is different.  Never mind how you compare with others.  You can find out much more directly whether and if so where and why you need to change your approach to people.

How can you do this?  Simply by asking a few people what effect you are having on them.  In other words by asking them how you make them feel - what emotions are evoked in them by the specific things you say and do.  (We recommend you gather this emotional data - “emotional intelligence” - in preparation for the Skills with People course.)  Also see "Skills with People" course content.

Make sure you ask for facts, not opinions.  Feelings are facts.  Don’t ask, “How good do you think I am as a listener?” (a difficult question because it’s asking for an opinion).  Instead, ask for specific fact, and be as specific as possible about both the occasion you are referring to and the emotion you are asking about, e.g.:

 “During our conversation when you were telling me about your concern, how understood did I make you feel?  Please score your feeling on a 0 to 10 scale.”

This is much easier to answer because it’s asking for a specific fact which your colleague knows very well.  (The numbers help even though they’re purely subjective.)

  Completely                                                                                             Perfectly
  misunderstood    0      1     2     3     4     5      6      7      8      9      10    understood

A score of 6 or less probably indicates you could improve the way you listen.  If others give similar feedback this conclusion will be confirmed.  (There are many people who pride themselves on being good listeners who would get a low score if they asked this question.)

Here are some other specific emotions you could include in your research:  how satisfied have you made people feel, how motivated, how encouraged, how respected, how appreciated, how clear (as opposed to confused), how seriously have they taken what you have said?  You can probably think of others.  Collect as wide a range of emotional data as you think you need.  (For help in thinking about this see Skills with People course preparation.)

How to approach a colleague for this feedback

If you’re nervous of asking for this feedback you could say something like: 

"I'm keen to find out how I can improve as a leader (or manager or team member or influencer).   It would be very helpful to have feedback from some of the people who work with me.  I need honest answers to some specific questions.  They’re not difficult questions and I won’t take offence if what you say is critical.  I’d be grateful for your help." 

Most people will be only too glad to help if you approach them in this straightforward manner.