Receiving criticism - training for managers and professionals

A good rule of thumb for receiving criticism is, “Don’t argue or defend yourself when you’re being criticised (at least, not as your first response)”. 

But we say this humbly, knowing that following this rule is one of the hardest things to do.  Arguing when we’re being criticised is a very strong knee-jerk reaction, particularly when we feel the criticism is untrue or unfair.  It goes strongly against the grain to do anything other than argue and defend.  But unfortunately arguing does no good.  It only succeeds in making us seem unreceptive, which confirms the doubts about us in the mind of the person criticising.  Remember, we’re talking here not about truth but about perception. 

The London based "Skills with People" course will help you understand why people’s perception of you depends largely on how you’re responding to them here and now.  Even though they’re criticising you for something that happened in the past, their attitude to you is influenced strongly by the response you make now.   Much more effective than arguing, which leads to a hostile and uncommunicative court-room atmosphere, the skills taught on this course provide a much more constructive way of receiving criticism.  This approach creates an atmosphere of mutual understanding and respect.  The person criticising you, far from having their doubts confirmed, will be impressed and disarmed if you can do this.  See "Skills with People" course content, and emotional intelligence. 

Receiving criticism is by far the most difficult application of the skills taught on this course.  It’s so difficult that we encourage you to save it up until you have mastered the basic skills of listening with empathy and speaking assertively.   Both skills are necessary for effectively receiving criticism.  (See also giving feedback, constructive criticism, and praise and criticism).